I LOVEYOU

Reason

2010-10-23T11:09:00.003+08:00

Reason

Guys drink to forget about the girl while girls drink to think back about that guy. Guys can forget, cannot forgive but girls can forgive, cannot forget. When guys are heartbroken, they try to forget the girl by going out with other girls. When girls are heartbroken, they try to find his characteristic from other guys.

2009-05-19T00:27:00.003+08:00

I've just realised that I haven't update this blog of mine for some time.
Not that I don't care. Just that I'm sick again. Fuck it okay.
I want to be a healthy girl, I want to healthy and strong again.
I don't know why all this shit is happening to me.
Maybe it's karma.

I will fail my assessments for sure.
I'm stressed. I just want to cry my heart out.
I want to shout, I want to curse and swear out loud.
I just hate my life totally.
I would have ended it long ago if it was not for my family and friends.

2009-01-04T03:00:00.004+08:00

Happy 18th Birthday Na!

Today wasn't pretty much happy outing like it was supposed to.
Me & Na didn't enjoyed much like how we used to ! ):
Ryan is actually meeting us, but he was stucked at his work.
Nothing much to elaborate, as I am in no mood for blogging now.

I really do miss him a lot. But I don't think it'll ever matters already.
This will be the last year of us seeing each other that much.
& I will find a chance to tell him everything once I ready for that.
No matter how negative or positive the result is, It's fate isn't it.

就让我慢慢学习, 学习悲伤的时候, 不闭上眼睛, 趁眼泪还没形成之前, 就在空中蒸发掉.

2008-12-25T05:14:00.005+08:00

M e r r y C h r i s t m a s

My blog is getting bored, no picture just words!
I'm just home after that oh-so-short celebration with my sisters.
Going out with Xiaona to kbox later on, while I catch some sleep.
Everyday is just eat, sleep, drink, work, sleep, so boring.
I've got nothing to post already shall do the survey that I got from J's blog

1. Have you ever said, you'll never love again?
Yeah.

2. Is there anything bothering you right now?
Yeah.

3. Is there something you wanna let go of?
Yeah. But I can't.

4. Do the old songs you had in your past really remind you of the memories?
Always.

5. How important is "Trust"?
Very important.

6. How do you learn to forget?
Nothing.

7. Is crying a sign of weakness?
Not. When I'm happy, I will cry too!

8. Do you always regret?
Yes, I always do.

9. Do you believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder?
Yeah.

10. Do you believe that you have a guardian angel?
No.

11. Do you find your ex's new gf/bf good looking?
Mostly are single, But the rest with are ugly.

12. What will you do if you're stuck in the elevator with someone you don't like?
Entertain us in order to make them feel safer.

13. Have you ever wanted someone but you can’t have him/her?
Yeah.

14. Have you ever said 'I love you' but you lied?
There's only three time. To a guy named G, J & a girl named A (:

15. Would you ever want to go back in the past?
Yes, to 20 November 2007. (To those who know, they'll understand)

16. Do you really wanna please everybody?
No.

17. Is waiting ever okay?
Waiting is alright for me, if the person is him.

18. Right now, where do you wanna be?
With him. Right by his side.

19. When is enough, enough?
When I'm not exist.

20. What are you so sick and tired of?
The everyday oh-so-same life!

21. What made you smile today?
1. Dream of him, 2. I did not late, 3. Joo kiat stupid explanation.

22. Is looking good important?
40% of look.

23. Do you listen to love songs when you’re down?
Yes. Always, because I only know how to cry whenever I'm down.

24. What are you thankful for?
I got everything a normal human have.

25. Do you agree that men are polygamous by nature?
There are some.

26. Do you believe in forever?
No.

27. What are your plans for the weekend?
12-10 working.

28. Do you say sorry first?
I only say sorry when I'm not wrong, I never did that if I do.

29. Do you believe that married couples should still go out on a date?
Yeah.

30. Has someone promised you something and broke it?
Yeah. He said 'If nothing is forever, would you be my nothing'. (Although I know that he is just joking.)

31. Do you want to go out of the country?
I want to stay at Taiwan.

32. Does the rain make you gloomy?
Rain makes me sleepy.

33. For now, what is the one thing that you want so bad?
Him.

34. Wishing you were with?
Him.

2008-12-22T22:16:00.004+08:00

Sakura,
I got suspended on Wednesday (Which I supposed to go far-east @ 12pm). I woke up late, at half past twelve, when I'm ready to go work. Out of guilt ridden because I'm late (Ela, My supervisor called to reminded me a night before not to be late) I called back Sakura, My own outlet, To inform that I'm late. I know that it's all my fault that Far-east Sakura is busy like hell cause of shortage staff. But which part of yourself think you're good too? Think back, that time when there's only 2 stable part-timer staff that works for you. That no matter what, when you called they'll be there for you. although, the fact is that there's still shortage of staff. But your repaying us is Half an hour break if there's a crowd, more than 2 hours break if there's no crowd, Ask us to go home when there's really no customer, Give us attitude when you get scolding from the management, Complain about us all at one go to the management which will make them thing that we've made a lot of mistake when it happens only once in a while. A lot more which is more than just elaborate. I'm not going to scold vulgarities like I always do, not to be like you both. But I have to tell you both coquettish shrew that you both do no appreciate, never appreciate, & will never going to appreciate. Miss A, called me on Saturday to ask me go Buangkok Sakura @ 6/6.30pm. In a very not sincere way of speaking, She even gives me a very unpleasant tone when I rejected her. I couldn't reach there in time because I'm going church with Sherry, I promised her that I will go, & I could not bring myself to just leave like that. The very same that I could not bring myself to cancel my schedule when it's weekend, no matter how urgent I'm in. You all never think about what we think. & you shamelessly say that we NP Sakura is a big family.

Him,
Like what I stated in one of my post, I decide to give up. But whenever I wanted to, I find myself keep thinking back to the past. How we used to talk, How we used to laugh, & how I used to cry at night. I finally saw you that very day. The very day that I'm waiting for it to come since 23'October. I sitting there waiting for you to come cause I believe you will come. I'm so glad that you came. But not a glance of yours meets mine. Maybe, only maybe, that you took a very fast glance at me which doesn't means anything. But in both heart of us knows that it doesn't means anything, just like how a glance is spelled G l a n c e. From my glance of you, which finally makes me realise that I will never gonna forget you.. Never. But my admiration for you will only be deep inside my heart. Which nobody understands.

2008-12-16T04:32:00.002+08:00

One last time

(Edited)

I just can't get to sleep and i've no idea why. I've been turning left and right on my bed since this morning when i get back to my room. I hate sleepless night, i hate to stay up all the way till morning without you to ring me up anytime, without you to ask what i'm doing and without you to talk to me.

Well, i'm not emo-ing. I'm an extremely private person anyway, so you won't get to understand anything or everything by reading my blog. I've so many things to post about. But when i'm ready to update my blog, nothing came into my mind. Everything seems to be changing, there's nothing interesting going on right now.

There are consequences if you lie, but what's the consequences of telling the truth? The fact is truth hurts alot more than those lies. If i have a chance, i'd tell anyone straight about what's going on. I don't like keeping people in the dark, too. And i hate the feeling when i have to keep things to myself, i don't feel good at all..

Coming down from anything is a heavy feeling. Like when you've been happy all the while and you thought that it will keep going. It's sucha painful landing when you came crashing back down to reality. We won't notice how much we rely on something or someone, until it's gone. Time passes by, we can't just undo the time.

They took everything and now you've nothing. They think they know what they want, and go for it. But when they realised that whatever it is they went for, isn't what they really want. And somehow you're in the middle of it all. In the end, you're one whose left all dazed and wondering what just happened.

Just like another stupid, silly & naive girl, dreaming of an impossible dream.

I guess i'm too free now, that's why i post nonsense again. I've no idea what i'm talking about. Okay, i think i should try sleeping now.

What the f___. It's 4.30 am right now. I tried to get some sleep at 7 pm just now, but i just can't fall asleep no matter what. Shit. I'm suffering from insomnia once again and it's another sleepless night. :(

2008-12-07T04:12:00.004+08:00

可能是因为还年轻吧,

爱上的人不容易忘记,

也不一定是最适合自己的.

我想也是时候放开了.

I told myself several time to give up. But I don't know, It's just so hard to. Because I'm young, things are so hard to forget. Before I fell in love with you, before I'm so head over heels over you. I was such a cheerful person. Now, when I even look into my own reflection, I couldn't find myself anymore. I'm not me anymore. After I did, everything surrounded me change. But I still didn't notice, didn't care. Not until friends told me that, you've changed. Still I didn't care, yet telling myself that 'you are the one who change bimbo'. I admit I did that. Perhaps, It's me, myself, not willing to change. Maybe It's me, who doesn't want to stop loving you. All I know is, I'll now try, to.

2008-12-06T01:27:00.004+08:00

I saw what you tag at her blog just now.
I saw how you called her like you'll never to me.
I am so jealous, but I don't wanna be her.
I don't wanna be her for you to like me.
I wanted so badly for you to like me for me.

You don't seems to understand this, don't you?
You don't seems to change at all, don't you?
You never change, don't seems to change at all?
Yet I am so naive, thinking that you will, for me?

我, 看到你在她的网络留言.
我, 看到你对她的称呼, 是我没有的.
我, 很嫉妒她, 可是我不想是她.
我, 不想变成她让你喜欢我.
我, 很希望你会喜欢这样的我.

你, 很象一点都不了解, 是吧?
你, 很象一点都没有变到, 是吧?
你, 没有改变, 一点都没有?
可是, 天真的我, 以为你会? 为了我?

2008-11-22T01:56:00.005+08:00

My emotion starts to get on my nerves.
It's so unpredictable, so irritable at the same time.

I'm so happy that he starts to talk to me.
Not to mention yesterday, he took the initiative.
I'm just so nervous that I'm running out of words to speak.
& you wouldn't have criticized me as an pea-sized brain,
If you ever seen our conversation yesterday, for heaven sake.
On the same time, I'm also afraid of saying th wrong things.
That makes him stop replying me like he always does.
I more than just happy, that things between us are getting better..

But as for work....
It's seriously sucks like no mother.
Although I get to train the new staff,
Which is the only thing that makes me happy.
I've been late, really late these few days.
I only reach there by 1 plus when I'm supposed t work at 12.
I get scoldings everyday from supervisor.
& I just hate myself for being late. I hate.

[edited]
I remember, that you asked me twice.
Who am I always refering to, that I loved.
& I'll always tell you it's secret, which is not.
I don't believe that you don't know, I like you.
I don't believe that you don't know, I miss you.
I can't believe that you don't know, I love you.
& I, infact, always finding t proper way to tell you.
That I always love you, that I need you.
[/edited]

2008-11-07T02:18:00.006+08:00

I'm so happy, bodoh.
I don't know why.
Tears suddenly dropped,
& emotion overwhelm.
But I don't know.
I just felt so happy.
It feels great.
I hadn't been like this for long.
Anyway,
Night night, sweet dreams :D

2008-11-04T00:48:00.004+08:00

Oh, so sick.

Wondering why I had not blogged for so long?
I had been sick for days already, yes, the fever is back.
Haunting me! Cough still lingers.

I've no choice but to work everyday, as they can't do without me.
Perhaps? I don't know. They don't seems to be lacking of applications.
Why always me the one who work like shits, bodoh.
& fcuk that shukor t hell, he makes me even more sick.
Since I'll be working everyday, things will get better by days.

&&& I want t buy/do lots of things during this holiday.
So no matter what, I'm gonna work the hell out of it this month :D
Don't ask me out, Haaaaaa!
I wanna be hard-working during this longgggggg holiday.

Maybe, things will be better by days.
Maybe, emotion will be under-control.
Maybe, alot of things will happen.
But I just can't forget him.
Why can't we just be back in the past.
& talk like we used to )':

2008-11-01T01:58:00.003+08:00

What happened to me?
What happened to him?
What happened to everyone?

I sucks, I have to admit that.
I'm useless. Cried cause of a small thing. What a fucked up life.

I'm sad. So sad that I cried at Gina's just now.
Sad over what? I don't know...
I'm angry. So angry that I punched and strangled pooh.
Poor pooh.

I've a blog that's dead & nobody visits.
There's no point of blogging eh.

Sigh. I'm so sad.

2008-10-09T21:20:00.003+08:00

I'm not working hard enough. I'm not.
I got a strong feeling I have to repeat my year.
How?

My enemy confronted me today.
The pain that she brought to me.
How horrible that pain can it get. Tell me.
I hate 'her'. It's menses.

Please stop all the global warming shits.
Stop polluting earth or we'll just DIE.

2008-09-27T23:25:00.004+08:00

True love doesn't exist in this world :(
& It doesn't pay off to be good!
:(

我喜欢的人，不喜欢我。

Alicia is damn sick already. I think I'm dying soon :(
Alicia is sad now. Alicia is sadddddddddddd :(

Emotions inside me:
Why he doesn't he seems to understand. Why?
Maybe I didn't say it out?
Why? Why? Why? Hmmm..
Why I like him so much when I know he won't like me back?
Why I deserve all these things?
Why must I be the one who's always taking the initiative?
Why must I miss him so much when he won't even think of me?
Why must I like him. Why? :(
It's really better to have a person who likes &love you.
Fuck all these shit.
Maybe I should just give up on him. Just give up.
He's treating me like a toy, he doesn't like me, I should give up.

Reality:
Come on luh, grow up luh alicia. We are not even together! Why MUST he message you every single day? Why must he reply every single message you sent? Why must he share his problems with you? Why must he meet you? Why must he celebrate your birthday with you? Why must he even care for you? Why?! So, stop all the annoying complains!
Yeah, why? :) We're not even together man. Haa! Got it already. We're not even together, and his actions tells me, we can never be together...

There's a voice in me that starts to say:
Just die okay, alicia. Just die.

2008-09-23T23:53:00.004+08:00

The time passed, my mind harassed

One day is one year, with every second you aren't here. Every second hurts so much more, bringing remembrance of before. With everything that happened, you knew how i felt. Every word and smile, you made my heart melt. And i can't explain, how much i need you now..

2008-09-22T23:28:00.005+08:00

Sick. Sick. Sick.

I'm a sick girl. I'm so sick.
So sick of love songs.
LOL, RANDOM.

Life nowadays is meaningless.
It's much more like a cycle.
I do whatever I have to do and turn in for the day.
Not really enjoying what I'm going through now.
Holidays = Boring, chill only.
School = Boring, STRESSED OUT!

&WHEN CAN I GET MY PAY?!
I'm like super duper broke now.
This is like the 7945p947835 time I'm repeating this sentence.
I need money urgently.
& I'm out of job due to the freaking r-e-n-o-v-a-t-i-o-n.
Anyone will do, just fuck it. Thank you!

2008-09-21T20:26:00.007+08:00

Save the world!

Recycle.

Oh my god, what's happening to me?

I'm so obessed with my eyebrows, that they're becoming thinner and thinner everyday.

Yet, I'm loving it.

And I'm looking at people's eyebrow (esp. girls) every now and then!

Godness, I think I'm too vain.

Or is it, my hands, are too itchy? :p